Today I did something that I have never done before - I went to a movie, in a movie theater, all by myself.
I went to the first matinee showing of Shrek 2. The movie was cute. Antonio's Puss In Boots steals the show, as so many have said.
This was a big step for me. I've stayed in hotels by myself before. Eaten meals alone. Traveled by plane, train, and automobile alone. But that's always been in the context of a business trip or conference. I don't count that in the same category as eating out in your hometown alone or going to a movie alone.
There is definitely a stigma attached to being alone. My friend Amanda recommended the book The Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto. I picked it up when I was in CT in May, but I haven't read it yet. She told me that she has really come to enjoy being by herself. She is alone, but not lonely. She's at peace.
Maybe someday I'll get to that place. I don't know. Alone and lonely still mean the same thing to me at this point. But at least I'm proving to myself that I don't have to sit at home just because I don't have anyone else to go do something with. Even if I don't like it.
I remember the first time I did that, after my big breakup w/Jim. It was scary, and it felt like a lonely act (like everyone was going to be looking at me and pitying me) before I did it, but after, well, no big deal (and nobody stared pityingly). Even now that I'm with Tim, I sometimes go by myself because he works too much and there's a movie I want to see that I just know he won't have time for before it leaves the theaters. Bonus: you usually don't have anyone sitting on either side of you. More room! :)