Wow... I really was out of it yesterday. Note to self: when people tell you to keep drinking, don't listen! (Or at least switch to water. :)
I reread my post from yesterday and it only captures a small part of what I was feeling about this weekend. Which was this: I'm making friends. With really neat, good, kind, loving, fun people. Making friends is something that is very difficult for me. I've spent so much time being out of touch with my emotions, that it really was impossible for me to share with anyone. Since I didn't even know what it was that I could share. But as I'm learning to embrace what I'm feeling, I'm also sharing those feelings. I've become much more open. And it is so wonderful. It's so great to feel happy or to revel in the enjoyment of something. And sharing that with others makes it so much better. The more I put myself out there, the more I reach out. The more I get back from others. And that is just wonderful.
I keep going back to a quote from Dr. Seuss. He said, "Always do what you want and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." These are becoming the words that I live by. The people in my life need to love me for who I am. I'm going to put myself out there, as honestly as I can, and be as authentic as I can in my interactions. And I do believe that my true friends (or those who will become my true friends) will love me that much more for it. And those who don't aren't folks that I want in my inner circle anyway. I don't want to play mind games. I don't want to hide. I want to be open and honest because I want folks to be open and honest back to me. I realize that this will not always work. But it seems to me a good goal to reach for. A good course to chart one's life to.
So (in no particular order) thank you Erik, Jonah, Christyn, Brian K, Kris, Matt, Becky, Kevin, Will, Jenn M, Tim S, Carrie, Sophie, Sandi, Sarah, Cathie, Jonathan, Beth, Mags, Peterme, Stacy, Jen K, Brian G, Indi, Janice, Fred, Rupi, Ed, Sabrina, Bekah, Tim B, Kim, Gnat, Mark, Vince, Nick, Tamara P, and Michele S. My life is richer for having you in it. (And for anyone in my life that I forgot to name, please know it's due to the lingering effects of the booze, not that I don't treasure you. Really.)
