C and I went to the courthouse this morning and filed the paperwork for our divorce. All told it took about 20 minutes, and that includes the time it took to get though security at the front door.
I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I feel sort of... blank. I mean, it feels really good to have it finished. And there is no doubt at all that this is what I want. Yet, this is a big deal. And there was nothing to mark the significance. We just walked in, handed over some papers, wrote a check, and walked out. Didn't even have to wait in a line.
Joseph Campbell used to talk about how ceremonies are important to mark rites of passage. There's such a big deal made about getting married. And there's a big deal for one of the two ways to exit a marriage (meaning death). There seems that there should be some sort of divorce ceremony too. Maybe I'll have to plan something for February. To celebrate my new freedom.
Last week, one of my office mates announced that her divorce was finally official. It was for the best and she was happy for the parting. We had a small un-wedding cake complete with the little plastic couple on top, except we had a fallen groom laying at the bride's feet. It feels strange to celebrate it, but I guess it was more of a ceremony to mark the time for her finally being able to move on to better days. -m
More than one of my friends have expressed the feeling that there ought to be a ceremony to mark a marriage's end as well as its beginning. Last weekend B and I actually went to a friend's gathering on the coast to share just such a ceremony. She made up her own ceremony, it was very simple and quick, and then we all went to eat delicious food. I recommend you do something for yourself, a party, light a candle, whatever. For her it was a way of re-committing to herself.
Thanks guys. *hug*
I think I'm going to throw an Un-Wedding party in February (once the 6 month waiting period is over and everything becomes officially official). Complete with cake and fancy flowers and all. I'm toying with the idea of wearing all black (since that would be the opposite of the white wedding dress). But all black makes me think of funerals. And this party will be about a new life, not the death of an old one. In any case, I have 6 months to plan it.
In the near-term, E and I are going out tonight to celebrate, since we weren't able to on Monday. I think we are going to go out for drinks, since I said I want to do something I don't normally do. And, well, that would qualify.
Maybe you should wear all the colors of the rainbow, to signify how what once was one (color/couple) is now all split up, and yet is somehow at least as, if not more, beautiful.
Honey, I had no idea. Really. I'm so sorry. Let me know if you need a shoulder or anything. I'm here.
I'm writing a book on divorce cermonies/rituals and would love to communicate with anyone here who would agree to talk to me. Christine
chris7g@earthlink.net