Progress comes in many different shapes and sizes. The scale is just one of many measures. But it's not the only one. I need to focus on all the areas that are improving in my life. It's unhelpful to focus on just one measure. And it's unrealistic to demand improvement on that measure all the time.
Sometimes progress is in spirals. Sometimes we need to take longer to "get ready," to sit in a holding pattern, to check and recheck to make sure our ducks are in a row before we leap to the next stage.
Babies walk when they are ready to walk. They don't suddenly wake up one day, lace up their shoes, and walk out the door. I would never yell at Gracie or demean her that she isn't learning to walk fast enough. Why do I think it's okay to demean myself and yell at myself that I'm not loosing weight/getting healthy fast enough?
I need to noodle on this awhile. I need to learn this lesson. I need to take it to heart. I've been banging my head on this wall for a long, long time. Maybe it's time I took a moment, let the pain pass, and proceed when I'm ready.
In the mean time, here's a list of progress to remind myself that things are better.
- I am down 6 pounds from where I was 4 weeks ago.
- I am no longer eating a candybar (or more!) a day at work.
- I am drinking 8 glasses of water a day, often more. I am no longer liss-liss from dehydration.
- While it may not be 5 fruits and veggies a day, it is more than I had been eating.
- Yoga is getting me in touch with my body and tapping into my sense of inner strenght.
- I now have a haircut I like, and that makes me feel pretty.
- I am trying new things (yoga, scuba, mediation).
- I am committed to going to WW, even if I don't have a loss every week. I learn more there than just what the scale tells me.
- I am learning to have boundaries in my relationships and my life. They are not always solid, but they are at least developing.
- I am becoming aware of triggers and patterns in my life. I may not be able to solve the problem associated with them, but at least I know that I am now having a reaction.
- I'm starting to understand that I have choices. In what I think. What I do. How I act. I am not a passive reactionary. I am in control, even when it feels that I'm not.
- I have a wonderful apartment that is a safe space and I love it.
- I've spent 5 months living on my own and I'm still alive.
- Overall, I am the happiest that I've been in a very long time, if not my whole life.
