Went to Maria's TNT Fundraising party today. All she had to eat was rice, refried beans, and cake. So that's what I had. I had more than I intended to have. The beans and rice tasted SOOOOOOOO good. The idea of the cake was better than the cake itself though. It was too sicky sweet. Of course, that didn't stop me from snarfing down the whole thing. I felt so over-stuffed afterwards. Just icky through and through.
Then most of this evening I've wanted to eat more. And not the 3 servings of 0-point veggies that I should eat. But to eat the rest of the oatmeal raisin cookies. Or the WW ice cream snacks I have in the freezer. Or pretty much anything sugary.
I know this is due to the emotional reaction I'm having to other stuff going on. It has nothing to do with being hungry. So far I have managed to stay out of the kitchen. I've been doing retreat stuff. Puttering around the house cleaning stuff up. Made a personal journal entry to try to get the feelings out. But I don't think I'll feel better until I get to talk with the person in question and I don't know when that will be.
*sigh*
I do not want to eat. I do not want to feel the way I will feel after I eat. I want to have a loss next Thursday at weigh-in. I want to feel better, but food will not make me feel better.
At least it's after 9 o'clock now. I can go to bed soon. And as much as I'd sometimes like to, we all know that you can't eat while you are asleep.
