You know, it is just amazing how much life/your outlook on life can change in a short period of time. I'm not talking mood swings. It's broader than that. It's the combination of stressful activites passing (Connect, certification dives - as fun as they were, it was still stressful), work deadlines passing, and a couple of nights of fairly good sleep.
I was such a ball of stress, angst, and just all around black negative energy 1.5 weeks ago. I felt just horrible. The release started with all the talking with my Safe People. The hills didn't seem quite as insurmountable after that. And then, the barriers just seemed to disappear. The first release of the search project was put on hold. Boom. Big chunk of work stress disappeared. I got the packing and other stuff done that I needed to. The dives went wonderfully well. I managed to be where I needed to be and things worked out.
I just... I don't know. I went from fretting and worrying to more of a "well, I'll do what I can do and deal with the rest later" attitude. And you know what? It worked. Even today - I set my alarm early so I could get to the car dealer by 7:30. But I never actually turned that alarm on. So it went off at 6:50 per usual and it was 7:10 by the time I saw the clock. I ran around like a crazy woman this morning trying to eat and get dressed and feed the kids. I got to the dealer and was all worried that I'd miss the 8 o'clock shuttle bus and was sure that the next one would get me to work too late for my 9 am meeting. And everything was fine. It was no big deal that I was there almost 1/2 hour late (they didn't yell at me or anything). I caught the early shuttle and was at work by 8:20. Everything was fine. Yet another example of if I had just rolled with it, I could have saved myself a lot of angst.
So... I'm feeling pretty good about things. The Future of IA Retreat is coming together. Mags will be here Wednesday. I still haven't dusted or moved the litterboxes, but the house is mostly pulled together. It would be nice if I could have everything spic and span for when she comes, but I'm not going to kill myself to do that. I know she'll still love me even if there is dust on my tabletops. I had a wonderful weekend - it was so nice to be home with the cats and relax with E and just take it easy.
And I'm loving my new computator. I just want to keep typing and typing cause the keyboard feels so nice. And I love iTunes. I love iTunes so much. I have a soundtrack for my life now. I spent so long never listening to music except in the car. Listening to music was always a struggle (or at least always felt like a struggle). The TV was on so much, and there never seemed to be agreement on what should be played. But the cats don't seem to complain about what I play or how loud I play it. Living alone has its advantages I guess.
