I can no longer deny it

Somewhere along the way, I developed a social life. I'm not quite sure how it happened. I spent so very many years alone, at home, watching TV or reading a book (or eating), that alone became the norm. Even after I was married we spent a lot of time home alone - him playing video games and me watching TV, or reading, or eating.

But those days are past. I think they have been past for a while now, but I just didn't realized it. The idea of me having a busy social life just doesn't fit with the pre-conceived notions I had of who I am. I always thought if myself as the shy fat girl who didn't have many friends and spent her time alone. I'm discovering now that I need to hug that lonely girl, but let her go, as she is no longer who I am. I may not fully know who I am, but some notions are truly outdated.

This is a good thing. No, more than that. A blessed thing.

I am so lucky to have so many friends in my life, and so much love. I am continuely blown away by the amazing, talented, cool, insightful, caring, intellegent, and FUN people that I find myself surrounded by. I know that many of them have been there for a long time. But the shadow of The Dark Place of depression obscured them for so long I couldn't see them, and assumed they were no longer there. I thank my luckly stars that they didn't give up on me and are still here.

Here's a brief recap of my past 3 days:

Friday: Saw many dear friends who I haven't seen in months at a memorial service - very sad occasion, but so good to be with everyone again; helped two friends celebrate their new house by attending their inaugural slumber party.

Saturday: Met a wonderful new group of friends at a new chapter of my women's group; drove to Sacromento to party with a dear friend from high school and his friends.

Sunday: Spent the morning lounging and hanging out w/ said dear friend and some of his close friends; attended a housewarming/BBQ in Menlo Park; attended a birthday party and played games in Palo Alto.

Next weekend I'm going back up to Sacromento for dear friend's going away party (he's leaving soon to study in Amsterdam). I'm going to need a weekend to recover from my weekends. I am so okay with that.