This past Friday night E and I went to see Serenity in San Jose. I had been sick all day - sleeping and feeling very discombobulated, unsteady on my feet, and dizzy. I figured at worst case, I could sleep during the movie if I had to.
I ended up staying awake and watching the whole thing, and even enjoying it. It's a fun space/sci fi flick (E and I had a bit of a debate on if it was actually sci fi, since it didn't really deal with the science going on in the world, but, whatever). I didn't watch the series when it was on. I have at least seen the pilot (which is also good), and I'm pretty sure I've seen an episode here and there. E has the whole thing on DVD, so I'm sure I'll catch up sooner rather than later.
Anyway, I'm not sure if it was just that I wasn't feeling well or what, but I was really struck at the high geek factor at the movie. Granted, it was opening weekend. But there were folks there at the 9:35 show that had already seen it 4+ times. There were more than a few in costume. They had a trivia contest at the beginning and most people knew the answers.
And I was struck by the fact that this was so not my world. I do consider myself a geek (or is it that I'm more of a nerd?). But... I couldn't identify with the majority of the women at the show (or at least my projection of them, based upon how they looked and acted and talked with their friends).
Or rather, I felt caught between two worlds. While I certainly have geek tendencies, I'm not geeky enough to be a true girl geek. And I'm not cool enough to be a designer chick, even though I hang out more and more in designer circles. E said that it's because I'm a librarian chick, but I'm not sure. I don't hang out with librarians anymore. I certainly don't belong with the mommy crowd. I don't know. I can point to all these circles that I don't belong in, but there is no place that I feel that I do belong.
I have a toe and finger in a lot of different pots. I used to think that being a generalist was an advantage. And in certain ways it is, especially when it comes to skills at work. But I'm not so sure when it comes to social circles. I miss having a circle where I feel completely at home, completely accepted. I have individual friendships, certainly, where I feel that. But I don't have an overall "group" that I feel kinship with. I'm not sure I actually had that in college, but it was at least close. I miss that.
