Mental Illness

There was a woman on the BART train home tonight who was ill. I assume she was homeless from her unkempt hair, unwashed clothes, tattered bag, and the smell that hung around her like a cloud. It was a smell that filled the train car, a smell that I still find hard to get out of my nose.

But it wasn't her smell or her appearance that unsettled me. It was her behavior. I believe she was suffering a psychotic episode. And I don't mean that in the way that behavior is often called crazy or psychotic. She appeared to have lost touch with reality. And was suffering from what sounded like delusions.

She was having an argument with someone sitting next to her, but there was no one in the seat. She kept yelling that she wanted to be free. That this woman she was argueing with was stupid, and from dust and would return to dust, and she wished she would just die. She was God, she made all the money, she was why the money was there. Arrrrrgh.

Everyone on the train, myself included, were stuck in that awkward silence. People pretended to read their books or paper, but if they were at all like me they just read the same sentence over and over. Her screams were too loud to carry on a conversation or listen to headphones.

I hate when I get stuck in situations like this. Not because they make me feel uncomfortable. Not because I have something against the homeless or mentally ill. But because I don't know what to do to help. Here was a woman who obviously needed help, yet no one stepped forward to offer assistance. We all turned a blind eye and pretended that we were not listening to her accusations or watching from the corner of our eye.

What is there to do? I'm not a trained psychiatrist. I don't know how to "talk" someone like that "down." Do you call the police? I'd hate for her to end up in jail when what she needs is a hospital. Especially how she went on and on about how she wanted to be free. What is the best course of action? I just don't know.

*sigh*